IN LOVING MEMORY: BREANNA JOY WEAVER - May 18, 2010 - 5lbs. 4oz.

Its been 2 weeks today that we knew that our granddaughter ( Breanna Joy  ) was our stillborn baby angel. God has taken us thro a incredible 2 weeks of " leaning hard on Him" and He has held solid and sure, like never before. This morning I woke up to these words playing over and over in my mind -

Yes, Lord, Yes, to Your will and to Your ways.

Yes, Lord, Yes, I will trust You and obey,

When Your spirit speaks to me - with my whole heart I`ll agree,

And my answer will be - YES! LORD, YES! 

This story is for all the mommys and daddys that have experienced the sorrow of giving their babies and children back to Jesus till we all meet them again.

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Its easy to say this when things are going great but what is my response when joy turns to sorrow? Of my own strength I can`t turn my heart to Jesus and while tears are streaming down my face and say, " YES! LORD, YES, " because I always want joy and happiness - not pain and sorrow. Only Jesus makes that possible to move from self to His will. 

I realize now that days prior to Breannas birth God was in preparation of my heart and life to be in agreement to His will days later, even to the minute. That Sunday morning my heart was really heavy so I stayed home from church spending time with the Lord even throughout the afternoon. I went before the Lord allowing Him to move thro my life and show me any generational sins / curses in my life. Generational sins are weaknesses and tendencies toward sins or health issues that are passed on to our children. I allowed the Lord to show me these areas, confessing, cleansing, closing the doors so they aren`t passed on. What freedom I experienced in the Lord, preparing my heart for what was to come. Note: An example of a generational sin or curse or weaknesses in my life. I grew up with a mom that was plagued constantly with mental health issues and depression ( my moms mother also had the same problem) and then I did. This was one of the areas that the Lord gave me freedom from that morning. I don`t have to accept it as normal in my life and pass it down thro the generations, but can cut off the root of it with the Lords help. This can branch out in many areas in our lives.

Monday evening I went to the WCN church being aware that our daughter in law, Dorcas, was in labor but not totally certain. During that day as God impressed Dorcas and Laverne on my mind I would pray. On the way home from the WCN church I was praying aloud and I said: " Lord, I am laying on the altar- what should I do next?" I didn`t know that just hours later I would know. I left church @ 9:10 and arrived home around 9:30, ate a snack and went to bed. Before going to bed I was debating whether to call Dorcas` mom to see if she was in labor, but the I sensed the Lord just saying, " Just pray with what you know." How valuable this was. As I was laying in bed praying the Lord showed me 2 visions. The first one was: I sensed that the enemy was attacking Laverne and Dorcas with worry, fear and pain. The Lord said to pray angels at the 4 corners of the house, so I did. But in the middle of the room was one large angel with its wings spread out across Laverne and Dorcas. The second vision was: I seen a fountain of praise just flowing and flowing. The Lord said. " You need to pray an anointed ring of oil around the fountain. So, I did. Not realizing what it meant but drawing strength from it.

Little did I realize the strength I would need - real soon!

At approx. 2:00 am I revieved a phone call from Laverne at the hospital saying that they didn`t have a heartbeat with the baby. Instantly I remembered the first vision and I shared it with him immediately. I fell on my knees beside the bed and cried," Oh! God, help us." I came downstairs trying to calm the girls who were sobbing with grief. Going back upstairs and praying with Merle and comforting him. Calling a friend for intercessory prayer and praying and claiming Gods purpose for what we were facing. Breannas birth was greatly anticipated by all of us but especially the girls and different times Dorcas would let them feel her movements and the heartbeat. Alissa, the big little sister would sing, Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, to baby Breanna in the womb in the evenings and she just couldn`t wait for her arrival. 

I still didn`t know the reason of the second vision. As days unfolded I realized the ANGEL WINGS were to be designed over her grave as a testimony and protection, that I seen over Laverne & Dorcas and the FOUNTAIN OF PRAISE is Breannas death / grave. The anointed ring was to seal off the fountain that it to forever remain as we speak of her birth that we honor God and give Him Glory. As we speak of her and Gods Goodness - it flows out again and again. How comforted I felt that Pastor Nathan & Angela ,and friends Toby & Martha, assisted in planning of the service and we just played out the Visions of Angel Wings and the Fountain Of Praise and anointing. This has helped me tremendously thro these days since.

The anointed ring of oil around Breannas grave.

The first time I spent time with Breanna at  the hospital Dorcas was asleep. Throughout the day the hospital allowed Breanna to be in the room all day so we could spend time with her. I stood by her crib my arm craddling around her body, peeking under her little white hat at her hair, tears just dripping on her blanket. I will always treasure this precious moment alone. Awhile later Dorcas woke up and then she asked me to bring the baby to her from the crib so she could hold her. That was special. Mommy and I looking at her and talking and I thanked Dorcas for bringing this beautiful baby, Breanna, into the world.

At the graveside services - Gods presence was such a comfort. We had a very informal viewing in the church. While the viewing was taking place, Alissa, Breannas big sister ran out of the church and picked a dandelion and she was buried with it in her tiny hand.

White carnations were given to family members and a white teddy bear for Alissa to place on the grave. After a poem read by Toby S. and song " How Beauitful Heaven Must be, " Laverne ( Breannas father) gave a little talk on the story in the Bible about Hannah and Samuel. He said, " God gave us Breanna and we are now giving her back to God, "  and then the two grandmas went and took the angel skirt attached to the angel wings and covered it over her grave and then we laid our flowers on the grave. I still had a large handful of white carnations so I walked thro the crowd handing out the flowers. As I walked I came upon different mothers sobbing, remembering thro the years they had either miscarried or had stillborn babies and they were given a flower to place on the grave in memory of their angel babies as well. After most of the crowd left Louetta and I went around the grave with anointed oil forever sealing it for the Glory of God.

I am commited to continue that Fountain of Praise in Honor to God even in sorrow. I have my times that I need to go before the Lord ( usually at nite) where Him and I can have this long talk about whats happening in my life and the lives of our family.

Thats God - Just Doing What He Does!!! - He makes our hearts be willing to say in pain and sorrow YES! LORD, YES!!!! He can be trusted, FOREVER!

I love you, Lord more then ever because You are holding our angel baby, BREANNA JOY. I will not question if only, what if, or but, JUST - YES LORD YES!!! 

LET THE FOUNTAIN OF PRAISE FLOW - In Memory of : Breanna Joy and for Gods Honor and Glory!!!!

OUR LAST SUNDAY IN BOLIVA - Celebrating our 50th Birthdays together.

From this tiny building .... ( the former church)

You see Alfred doesn`t get concerned about small or BIG churches - just if he is preaching the message of Jesus Saves, aand helping others to walk out their relationship with Jesus.

.... to this wide open space where the cool breezes were wonderfully blowing thro.

Under the porch in the front of the church. This is where the natives can get out of the hot sun that won`t come into the church.

Visiting after church!

Walking home after church.

Barbecuing for our 50th Birthdays.

Edwin ( a native) did the barbecuing. It was delicious.

Alfred and Carolyn arriving for lunch.

50 candles?????? It was!

Here Alfred and I are blowing our candles out together.

to be continued  .......

.... continued from last post -

God is interested in the finest detail of church construction - to the Master Designer of the beautiful sunset --

Water Bottles are as important as equipment for church construction.

Loading up each morning with equipment. Tools were taken home each evening because of theft. Some of the natives in Boliva don`t have a conscience against stealing others possessions. On one of Alfreds USA visits after returning to Boliva the natives had even stolen the kitchen sink and the farm animals were taken. The house where we stayed had bars over all the windows / doors because of past theft. It was always locked if we all left the house because of all our passports / and personal information inside.

I seen only 2 police walking around together any time I was in town. I don`t think there is any country security - JJP - Just Jesus Protection.

The first sheets of the roof were on in my last photo of the church construction. Here the roof is finished.

Leveled the floor by hand and preparing it for concrete.

Some working on firming up the walls.

  Concreting the floor is complete. Mixing cement in a wheel barrel is hot hard work for 1 day.

Knee work ....

After the floor was dry a day ---- the task of tile is being laid, piece by piece.

The guys were amazed that an " Unseen Hand " was in the building construction even in the finest detail. Started out on the end of the building with a full square of tile and without measuring came to the center doorway, and it was a full square tile right at the door frame, and going to the other side of the door frame, and completing it also with a full tile. Getting to the end of the building and it was also a full square and all of this was WITHOUT MEASURING ANYTHING IN ADVANCE. THATS MY GOD! IS HE YOURS??

.... full square on the other side of the same door frame.

Maximizing Mileage! When the " truck taxi " is enroute to one place or another we all pitch in and " hold things." It doesn`t matter WHO you are or WHAT it is. Jello and yogurt for the evening meal is difficult to carry in a backpack.

A beautiful Bolivan sunset as Jean and I were walking down the road to connect up with our ride  .......

 ...... to this town church .... Alfreds church is being built on his land in the country for the natives living in the country. Not many church busses or major trasportation here. Also, Alfred is concerned with all the country folks going into town for worship because of the photos of half nude women posted on the walls in almost every business. In Boliva it seems to create business if you post these photos.

...... for Wednesday evening prayer meeting. ( We were the first ones attending church that evening so I took this photo before the natives arrived for the service) Couldn`t understand the service except what Jean translated to me from Spanish into English but was just blessed being in the presense of the Lord worshipping. WORSHIP TRANSENDS ALL LANGUAGE BARRIERS. Its a matter of the heart .... lifted heavenward.

Curbside Cafe .... just this tiny grill by the street - 

..... sharing it with the dogs laying nearby or inbetween or under the table hoping for a treat???  With all the dogs around the town - I never witnessed any dog fights. All seemed to know where they belonged and shared there space in town with each other as they roamed free with the pigs, cats, etc.

At the end of the day the guys needed " down time " too, connecting with girlfriends, and home folks in the USA.

It was better then " sulking parties " that I heard about that created some night hunting in the woods, because of not being able to sleep, with missing USA girlfriends. Kristen and Gideon ??????? Uh -Hum ..... you must be careful what information you share with this dear aunt of yours!!!!!

..... to be continued